Aboard Providence Page 21

  Mr. Foster stabbed a finger toward him. “No, I’m frustrated with you! You can judge me a coward and judge my son a scoundrel and you can make yourself a hero to my wife and daughters, but you cannot propose marriage to Marian without my permission. I won’t allow it.”

  Surprised by Mr. Foster’s barrage of accusations, Jonah took a step back. “I have no intentions of doing so.”

  “Then what exactly are your intensions?” Mr. Foster asked with a worn but angry voice. “I know you’re making plans with my daughter behind my back. What are they?”

  Jonah hated being prodded into speaking. He lowered his chin. “I want to marry her and I planned to ask your permission first but—”

  “So you planned to show me respect, but you’re just putting it off?”

  “Yes… no… I had to wait until I was certain.”

  Mr. Foster pulled his hat off his head and waved it as he spoke. “Certain of what? She’s a pretty girl. She’s kind and hardworking and always has something encouraging to say. She’d make an excellent wife for any man. You’d be a fool to pass her up.”

  Marian was inside fighting for her life and her father was outside shrouded by moonlight, defending her qualities as a potential wife. Jonah refused to be led into further argument. He raised both palms. “Mr. Foster, this has been a horrible day. We’re both exhausted and afraid we might lose someone we love. Let’s help Marian recover before we discuss the future.”

  “No, I want to know now! Do you love her enough to marry her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then what did you need to be certain of?”

  “Whether or not she would go back to America with me.” As soon as the words slipped out, Jonah regretted it. It was the wrong time for this conversation, and Mr. Foster was the last person he wanted to confess to.

  Mr. Foster drew his lips into his mouth and nodded, not with understanding, but as if confirming something to himself. “So that’s what you were off doing. You were trying to find a way out of here. Well, did you? And what of Marian? Will she leave?”

  Jonah thought the question of the moment should be: will she live? The flood of uncertainties he was trying to escape finally caught him. What if he did lose her? What if he had wasted their short time together worrying about finding a way back to America? What would he have done if there had been a way to leave? What if she had gone with him and they died at sea? What if they made it back to America only to become entangled in trial or imprisonment or some circumstance that would only separate them? Once the questions began, without Marian to reassure him, there was no way to avert the anguish of doubt. And he had put all of those questions on her. The anxiety that had always kept her fingers trembling was his fault. He wanted to lessen her burdens, to make her life better and instead he had filled what might have been her last days with worry. Overwhelmed, Jonah pushed both hands through his hair. “Mr. Foster, I can barely think beyond tonight.”

  “Even with all of your fancy education you don’t have the answers. You’re quick to point a finger at me for my cowardice and here you’ve been sneaking around, looking for a way off this island.”

  “There is no way off!” Jonah raised his voice. “I’ve accepted that this is my new home.”

  “So you’ll stay.”

  “Yes.”

  “And marry my daughter?”

  “Marian is in there fighting for her life,” Jonah said, pointing a hand back at the cabin. “It seems wrong to be out here speaking of our future, but yes, if she’ll have me, I want nothing more than to marry her… if you and Mrs. Foster approve, of course.”

  Mr. Foster’s expression softened, but only slightly. He could not fight his daughter’s illness, but maybe he had fought for her in the only way he knew how. He scrunched his hat back on his head. “Don’t worry about Catherine. She has been singing your praises since the baby came. And if Marian loves you enough to marry you, then you will have my blessing too.”

  If it gave Mr. Foster hope to speak of the future, Jonah could cling to some of that hope too. “Thank you, Mr. Foster.”

  “Just promise me you’ll stay in the Land. I can’t bear to lose her now, and I wouldn’t be able to bear losing her if you found a way back to America someday.”

  “What’s all this?” Doctor Ashton’s voice came from behind Jonah.

  Mr. Foster glanced over Jonah’s shoulder then he looked at Jonah. “I’ll be back to check on her before sunrise,” he said as he walked toward his house.

  The confrontation had sent Mr. Foster in the right direction, but Jonah was left in the lurch. He turned to face his father, but said nothing. With his hands buried in his pockets he slowly stepped toward the cabin.

  Doctor Ashton pulled the front door partially closed behind him, leaving a two-inch gap. “Did I hear correctly? Were you looking for a way to leave the Land?”

  Jonah swallowed the hard lump that started to rise in his throat. “Yes.”

  “I don’t understand. You said you wanted to make sure this place was uninhabited. You said you were going to explore for our benefit.”

  Jonah’s lingering childish instinct made him want to stare at the ground while he thought of an excuse, but he had to hold himself to the same standards to which he held others. He removed his hands from his pockets and looked his father in the eye. “I didn’t want to leave medical school when I was so close to finishing. I didn’t want to leave the city. I didn’t want to get on that ship. I never wanted any of this. Yes, I did go exploring to see if the island was inhabited and not because I wanted to protect the settlement but because I wanted to find a port so I could return to America.”

  “You lied to me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you find a port?”

  “No.”

  Doctor Ashton crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you still want to leave?”

  “No.” Jonah looked through the chink in the door at Marian on the cot. She was so still and peaceful and full of a poison he had given her. He squatted on the ground and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right now I just want Marian to wake up.”

  His father lowered himself in front of him and studied him for a moment. “Why weren’t you honest with me?”

  “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

  His father put a hand on his shoulder. “I understand. But now that you are here, you might be stuck here for the rest of your life.”

  “I don’t care as long as Marian recovers. I don’t care if I never earn my degree. I don’t care about any of that anymore. I know you’re disappointed in me.”

  Doctor Ashton took his hand away. “Yes, but not because you were trying to find a way to leave, but because you felt you couldn’t tell me the truth.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I.”

  “All I could think was that my success in life depended on getting back to Penn and finishing the medical program.”

  His father nodded slowly. “You worked hard to earn your degree, but you’ve proven your worth as a physician.”

  “Grandfather would disagree.”

  Doctor Ashton frowned. “Your grandfather would disagree with anything I said.”

  “That’s why I didn’t want to stay here, much less come here in the first place.”

  His father’s frown disappeared. “Because you wanted to earn your MD in America or because you wanted something you thought your grandfather would approve of?”

  “Both. But I didn’t tell you what I wanted because I feared we would end up like you and Grandfather.”

  “Ah.” Doctor Ashton sighed. “My estrangement from your grandfather had less to do with our professions than it did with our personalities. There was no pleasing him and I couldn’t raise a family in peace with his constant criticism. It was a difficult choice, but I had to get away from him. He refused to acknowledge my existence after that.” He stood and looked down at Jonah. “You and I are different, son. Even if you had stayed in America, I wouldn’t have disowned
you. Ever. You should have talked to me about this a long time ago since it bothered you. But even with the way you handled it, I won’t hold it against you.”

  Though grateful for his father’s reassurance, Jonah’s confession was incomplete. He stood and drew a slow breath. “There’s more. Not only did I not want to come along on the voyage, I probably shouldn’t have left Philadelphia in the first place. There was a patient who claimed she had been violated by one of the medical students while in the hospital. Due to her condition, she claimed she couldn’t remember the man’s face to identify him, but she was certain one student remained after the rest left and—”

  Jonah’s vocal cords were tight. He slid his hand into his trouser pocket and felt the letter he had carried for months. He handed it to his father. “The day I received this letter from you calling me home, I also received word that I was the last student to sign out at the hospital the day of the incident and it was likely I would be questioned and possibly charged.”

  His father took the letter and frowned. “If she couldn’t identify the man, surely she couldn’t just choose a man to blame. Perhaps she was hallucinating and the incident never even occurred. What was the patient’s condition at the time? Were their any witnesses? Any evidence?”

  Jonah raised a hand, halting his father’s questions. “Believe me, Father. I’ve spent many long nights mentally preparing my defense, but it’s no longer relevant. I cannot convey the depth of angst I’ve endured knowing my leaving Philadelphia might have been viewed as an admission of guilt, but I was not going to—”

  “Disappoint your family,” Doctor Ashton interjected.

  The breeze brought a sweet mixture of salty sea air and the scent of the gray leaf trees. Jonah inhaled deeply. He searched his father’s face for any indication of blame, but found none. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you all of this from the beginning.”

  “What a burden you’ve carried! You didn’t have to carry it alone. You could have told me.” Doctor Ashton hummed an exhalation and ripped the letter again and again. “You have my complete forgiveness, Jonah. But you were right: you shouldn’t have left Philadelphia in the midst of that. You should have stayed and made sure your name was cleared. But you obeyed me and traveled to Accomack. And I can’t honestly say that I would have advised you to return to Philadelphia even if I had known. I wanted you with me for this journey. I wanted my family together and this settlement needs you. There’s no way to know what happened in America after we left. If some of the States voted to secede, there could be skirmishes, maybe even war right now. That alone might have ended any search for you. Then again, you might be a wanted man and coming with us might have ruined your chance at a fair trial. I can’t speculate as to what you might face if you go back.”

  Jonah shook his head. “I’m not going back. There is no way for me to leave. Mr. Weathermon and I saw how expansive this land is and there is no one else here. There is no port. This land is like nothing on the map. We believe it’s an uncharted land. I came back to the settlement today eager to tell you and Marian all about it and now I might lose her.”

  Doctor Ashton looked upward. He was quiet for a moment and when he finally returned his gaze to Jonah, he nodded. “You’ve done a fine job today, son. I mean that. I’m proud of you.”

  It was the opposite of what Jonah expected his father to say. He drew his head back. “I’ve hardly done anything at all.”

  “Mr. Weathermon told me how you handled his episode while you were coming home—”

  “He’s in the condition he is because he went with me.”

  “Not so. And you’ve given Marian better care than I would have.”

  “I gave her the gray leaf tea, which I know nothing about and she might never recover.”

  Doctor Ashton shook his head. “You brought them both comfort and relief. It’s in your demeanor. A physician brings a comforting assurance in his presence and that alone can begin the healing. You are doing what you were made to do. Do you enjoy helping people? Saving lives? Tending to the ill and injured?”

  Jonah began to answer out of impulse, but stopped himself and considered it. “Yes, but these aren’t the circumstances I imagined, so I feel like I have failed.”

  “Sometimes a man must learn to redefine success.” He put a hand on Jonah’s shoulder. “Your purpose is the same, no matter what conditions surround you. I’m sorry your grandfather and your colleagues at Penn and I gave you the impression that your work depended on certain circumstances. The truth is: even though a person might feel they have a great many choices in life, God designs our circumstances for our good. All of your days were written in His book before you were born. By His providential care, you were brought here to this uncharted land with the education you have and the desire to heal.”

  “How can I be a physician here?”

  “You already are.” Doctor Ashton walked him into the cabin. “You have one patient, and she needs you.”

  * * *

  In the surreal seconds between deep sleep and true wakefulness, Marian lost all perception of time and location. The bed enveloped her with warmth and comfort. She could not determine her whereabouts or her age or even the validity of her physical existence. She could be dead or dreaming or an infant swaddled in a bassinet in a farmhouse in Accomack County, Virginia.

  Those few seconds of blissful uncertainty evaporated as her consciousness took hold of her surroundings. Her fingers rubbed the quilt that covered her and the mattress of the cot beneath her heavy limbs. The faint smell of cinnamon from the Ashton’s fine Chincoteague home still lingered on the pillow under her head. Though free from pain, her hands and arms stiffened when she tried to move and reminded her of the torment she had endured.

  She opened her eyes expecting to see Doctor and Mrs. Ashton and her mother scurrying about the room, desperate to save her body from its reaction to the bee venom, but it was nighttime and only Jonah was nearby. He was sitting in a kitchen chair beside the cot, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Mr. Weathermon lay on the mattress on the floor across the room, snoring. The room was dark, save for the faint glow coming from the globe of an oil lamp atop a stack of packing crates near the closed front door.

  She reached her hand out from under the covers and Jonah lifted his head. His eyes were dark and worried as he took her hand with both of his. “You’re awake. Thank God. How are you feeling?”

  “Tired.” Giving barely a thought to her own condition, she studied him. He had circles around his eyes, a deep crevice between his brows, and shoulders rounded as if he had been sitting up for days. As she began to speak, her voice burned. “What time is it?”

  “Nearly dawn. Take a deep breath and tell me how it feels.”

  She complied. “Perfectly normal. Where is my mother?”

  “Home.” He stood to retrieve the oil lamp and placed it on a chair nearby as he examined her arms. Then he sat on the edge of the cot and touched both sides of her neck. “Any dizziness? Blurred vision?”

  “No. Where’s your family?”

  “In the other room, sleeping.”

  She glanced at the closed door between the two rooms. “So this is why the elders wanted your family’s cabin to have two rooms from the start… in case your father had a patient.”

  “And we didn’t anticipate two patients at one time.” The edge of his mouth curved up in a half-grin. “Perhaps we should build a hospital before we build any more houses.”

  She glanced across the room at the mattress on the floor. “Is Mr. Weathermon ill?”

  “He’s stable.”

  “Have you been taking care of both of us?”

  “Just since midnight.”

  “And after your long journey. You must be tired. You should be sleeping too.”

  “Your life is more important than my sleep.” Jonah pulled down her dress sleeves, covering her arms. “You’re in my care. Don’t worry about me. Are you in any pain?”

  “No. None.” She raised he
r hand close to her face and looked for the sting marks, but they were gone. The gray leaf medicine might have healed her physical symptoms and relaxed her nerves, but the memory of pain and panic still lingered beneath every breath. “I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone.”

  He leaned his palm on the mattress and hovered over her. “I would have taken it on myself if it spared you. I mean it. I’m truly sorry you went through that.” His voice sounded raw.

  “Don’t be. If I hadn’t known the hurt, I wouldn’t know you as a healer.”

  He peered down at her, his expression a mix of concern and confusion. “I didn’t heal you. The gray leaf tea did.”

  “You gave it to me. Even though I couldn’t respond to you very well, I heard every word. Your father didn’t want to give me the gray leaf medicine and passed the decision to you. You took the risk and gave me what I needed.”

  Jonah shook his head. “Don’t think I’m a hero. I’m grateful to God that it worked, but I don’t deserve any credit. I’m just sorry that I left the settlement to begin with.”

  “It still would have happened.”

  “I’ve been so selfish.”

  “You did what you thought was best.”

  “For myself.”

  “And for the rest of the group. You were right that the men shouldn’t have built until the Land was explored.” A wave of fatigue doused her energy. She blinked and tried to finish what she had to say before it took her under again. “Did you find any people or a port?”

  “No, and I won’t leave you alone here even if I’m given a chance. I don’t want us to be separated ever again.”

  “We don’t have to be apart. I’ll go with you to America. I don’t want to leave the Land, but I’d rather go back with you than stay here without you.”